Are you still shaving?

I was driving to Provo and among other billboards (missionaries.com etc) I saw a cute girl and a hairless man laughing at me. The sign read... are you still shaving? I have a great story about that! So, it's called laser hair removal. It sounds scary - and it should. My friend Agent Larsen and I went to the doctor together. Laser technician (tall, skinny, 22, hairless) asked us all sorts of questions about our hair color (real) and our skin type (white). After telling us that she just loves LHR because she will never have to shave and shows us her lovely armpits. Not one little bump! We immediately sign up for arm pits too!

She proceeded to ask if we had any other questions for her. We sure did. Including: does it hurt, will I cry, do I need to drink a lot before I do this????

Then she asks us to furrow our brows (at this point she could have told me to do a back flip and I would have as in awe I was with her hairless wonderbeastness). Do you know about botox? What about flimagkauretan? She said she could irridiate and/or contaminate any ol' body part we'd like.

We should have taken the power outage to heart at that point.

But no, we go back several days later prepared for Dr. Beaverskinner and his infamous hailesswonderbeasts. Well, actually we were NOT prepared. I volunteered to go first and the Intimidatingly Beautiful Tech asked me to take off my pants. I said right here? And got into a dentist's chair. When she handed me the goggles I should have ran out the door with my pants in the heap they were in!!! She proceeds to Laser my "bikini" wherein I found new swear words. In keeping with our patnership Agent Larsen was in the waiting room listening to me scream. When she approached my nether regions I asked her to stop and said God probably meant to put hair there and not to touch anything else down there ever again!! Then, she went to my armpits where the words "holy mother of ..." came out of my mouth more than once.

The worst part, was Agent Larsen, who was in so much pain that she received a BRUISE from the IBT as she probably had to sit on her to keep her still. Her goggles kept fogging up! She emerged red faced and MAD! We proceeded to the Hideout where our lovely waitress procured a shot for us entitled "Pink Tacos".

Worst of all, we have to go back 5 more times!! Then, our hairlesswonderbeast status will be true.